I feel like I have no controll whatsoever!
Chocolate binge... Feel like shit... Shit I tell you... honestly got myself sick off of chocolate-covered almonds, and now seeing food makes me want to throw up. I ate like... 500 calories of chocolate! WHOLEY FAWCK.
Well... that puts me at a total of like 900 calories today, after I finish dinner. If I eat it. DAMN.
I will not purge, though. Ana is about controll, and feeling like my stomach will rupture at any moment is my punishment. Never have I or will I purge.
Still... I haven't done anything that could make me gain weight... I didn't actually eat 3500 calories, that two pounds is your body fluxuating over fecal matter and fluids!! So, I'm fine. There's no way in hell they're forcing a mahi mahi taco down my throat at dinner... anyways, I'm lactose intolerant, so I'll blame milk for my unruly stomachache. Wholey shizz.
Well... I defeated the Puppeteer on MS and got a whooping total of 12,000EXP. ;D Happy... Still feel like a fatass. Fat. Fat. Fat. I know didn't really gain any weight, but still. I've deffinatley dissapointed my 115lb self...
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Wholey shit, wholey shit, wholey- wait what!?
Feel like... bingeing? How will you feel afterwards? What's it like to be full and bloated? If you've hungry... well... good! You should be! If it really hurts that much, go to your room, get under your blankets with a mug of tea, and relax. If you're fatigued, you've fine- just got drinking enough. It's hard to always drink water, I know how boring it is. Drink tea or coffe instead. Iced tea... diet pop, any zero-calorie beverage!
And don't get concrned over tiny fluxuations in your weight. If you're up three or four pounds since yesterday... it's liquid, and fecal matter. I doubt you really ate 3500 calories. Yeah, you need 3500 calories to gain a pound. 10,500 to gain three. I doubt you ate that much, and, even if you binged, you still under-ate. Think of what overeating is to the average person: 2500-3500 calories. To you- to us!- overeating is 500 calories. Even less in some cases.
And it dosen't matter how slowly you go as long as you don't stop.
AND SO.
ONE-HUNDRED-FIFTEEN POUNDS. I did it!! Wo0o0o0! Now, I can take it a bit slower, seeing as I have two weeks and one day to lose five pounds... ;D. I'll do it, easy. I never have a problem with hunger or cravings! Never! And I've already lost 30lbs! 'Dunno what I do that makes it so, but it's so: Loosing weight is easy as hell for me... It comes to me simply, just like realtive functions, or equations in y-intercept from. Once I get a hang of it, it's simple... ;D. My birthday's coming up, in two weeks and one day, and if I can amke it by then... ;D That's fifteen days to loose 5lbs. Perfect. I burn about 1700-1800 calories a day, and if I eat roughly 450 a day, I burn 1250-1350 each day. That puts me at a loss of about one pound every three days. ;D It's happening.
On my birthday, I shall be free... to a certain degree. Still must eat less than 1,000 calories. Hey!- I'm still undereating! :D
And don't get concrned over tiny fluxuations in your weight. If you're up three or four pounds since yesterday... it's liquid, and fecal matter. I doubt you really ate 3500 calories. Yeah, you need 3500 calories to gain a pound. 10,500 to gain three. I doubt you ate that much, and, even if you binged, you still under-ate. Think of what overeating is to the average person: 2500-3500 calories. To you- to us!- overeating is 500 calories. Even less in some cases.
And it dosen't matter how slowly you go as long as you don't stop.
AND SO.
ONE-HUNDRED-FIFTEEN POUNDS. I did it!! Wo0o0o0! Now, I can take it a bit slower, seeing as I have two weeks and one day to lose five pounds... ;D. I'll do it, easy. I never have a problem with hunger or cravings! Never! And I've already lost 30lbs! 'Dunno what I do that makes it so, but it's so: Loosing weight is easy as hell for me... It comes to me simply, just like realtive functions, or equations in y-intercept from. Once I get a hang of it, it's simple... ;D. My birthday's coming up, in two weeks and one day, and if I can amke it by then... ;D That's fifteen days to loose 5lbs. Perfect. I burn about 1700-1800 calories a day, and if I eat roughly 450 a day, I burn 1250-1350 each day. That puts me at a loss of about one pound every three days. ;D It's happening.
On my birthday, I shall be free... to a certain degree. Still must eat less than 1,000 calories. Hey!- I'm still undereating! :D
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Today is a new day...
And with it comes new oppertunities. Yesterday's "sacrafice" is today's investment, and more should be made today. The day should be spent enjoying yourself; not with food, for it only lasts a second. Spend the time genuinley enjoying yourself, look forward to sometihng... have fun.
Yep~!
I'm in a good mood... wanna know why? I had gotten sick last week- great excuse not to eat- and missed three days of school, so I was behind. I caught up right when I got back, but my asma[did i spell that right?] was acting up and I couldn't do phys ed or jog. DEVASTSTION. Today, though, mummu-dear deemed that i could do PE if I felt good, and I did. ;D we had physical fitness testing, though, so we had free-choice right after the trunk-lift. I ran for the remainder of the time- an extra 1 1.3 miles! woo! ;D
Yep~!
I'm in a good mood... wanna know why? I had gotten sick last week- great excuse not to eat- and missed three days of school, so I was behind. I caught up right when I got back, but my asma[did i spell that right?] was acting up and I couldn't do phys ed or jog. DEVASTSTION. Today, though, mummu-dear deemed that i could do PE if I felt good, and I did. ;D we had physical fitness testing, though, so we had free-choice right after the trunk-lift. I ran for the remainder of the time- an extra 1 1.3 miles! woo! ;D
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Thinspo... I need to post some. ;D
Starting: My shitty phohoshop work:
if a fat kid like that did it, so can you!!
[i made that fugly picture out of boredom, last week ;DD]
if a fat kid like that did it, so can you!!
[i made that fugly picture out of boredom, last week ;DD]
How I'm doing.
Six days of fasting, and I'm through. I have school, too many friends, and vigilant parents: I can't afford to be so fatigued all the time. But I like being hungry... I know I'm doing it right. So...
I'm having a tall mug of earl grey tea for breakfast [preparing and throwing-out the rest], at lunch I'll buy my lunch with my pre-paid account, and sell my entre to a friend [James and Jerimiah eat so much!] and just eat the fruits and veggies. Then comes dinner, and I try to load a bunch of veggies onto my plate and take forever to chew.
Because, frankly, I hate not feeling hungry. I feel like a full, fatass.
AND: Ana and I have a deal: If I can get down to 110 lb by my upcoming birthday [April 3rd] She'll let me eat regularly when we go to the sushi bar I love so much. As long as i don't top 1000 calories... ;DD. There is no cake at my party! Yessss...
You see, I never purge, and never will. It'll just kill will faster! I understand that this is a disese; a disese I cling to in a horrible I love you/ I hate you mannor. And so... Whenever I eat too much I alays tell myself: "You need to consume 3500 calories to gain a pound, and you've for sure burned off more than you have eaten. There is no way that was 3500 calories, in fact it was an eighth of that, and you'll have burned it off by the end of the day... you're okay.". Because I still want to have controll over my life.
2 3/4 weeks to loose 7 pounds!!! Will i make it? Yes... yes. ;D
I'm having a tall mug of earl grey tea for breakfast [preparing and throwing-out the rest], at lunch I'll buy my lunch with my pre-paid account, and sell my entre to a friend [James and Jerimiah eat so much!] and just eat the fruits and veggies. Then comes dinner, and I try to load a bunch of veggies onto my plate and take forever to chew.
Because, frankly, I hate not feeling hungry. I feel like a full, fatass.
AND: Ana and I have a deal: If I can get down to 110 lb by my upcoming birthday [April 3rd] She'll let me eat regularly when we go to the sushi bar I love so much. As long as i don't top 1000 calories... ;DD. There is no cake at my party! Yessss...
You see, I never purge, and never will. It'll just kill will faster! I understand that this is a disese; a disese I cling to in a horrible I love you/ I hate you mannor. And so... Whenever I eat too much I alays tell myself: "You need to consume 3500 calories to gain a pound, and you've for sure burned off more than you have eaten. There is no way that was 3500 calories, in fact it was an eighth of that, and you'll have burned it off by the end of the day... you're okay.". Because I still want to have controll over my life.
2 3/4 weeks to loose 7 pounds!!! Will i make it? Yes... yes. ;D
Monday, March 15, 2010
Weighed myself!
Start weight: 145lb
Current weight: 117lb
Short Term Goal weight: 115lb
Long Term Goal Weight: 110lb
Well... I've lost eight pounds since I started this blog. ;DD
I ususally try not to obsess aver the scale too much, but I went shopping and tried on a pair of size 2 jeans, and they fell off my ass. I was all happy, then realized mummy-dear would get suspicious if size 2 had gotten too big, so I said it was labled wrong and bought a sweater. Then I weighed myself and -*poof*- eight pounds down. ;D
Current weight: 117lb
Short Term Goal weight: 115lb
Long Term Goal Weight: 110lb
Well... I've lost eight pounds since I started this blog. ;DD
I ususally try not to obsess aver the scale too much, but I went shopping and tried on a pair of size 2 jeans, and they fell off my ass. I was all happy, then realized mummy-dear would get suspicious if size 2 had gotten too big, so I said it was labled wrong and bought a sweater. Then I weighed myself and -*poof*- eight pounds down. ;D
What to eat and when to eat it-
Breakfast... just keep it below- way below!- 125 calories... usually mine's arround 75, but then again, breakfast is the most important meal of the day and will help you keep going if you're a person who's as prone to fatigue as I am. You should never skip breakfast!
And then a small lunch, so another, what? 100 calories? This should be made-up completley of fruits and vegetables along with a low-calorie drink(tea, water, black coffee, 0cal pop/energy drink) to make sure all the calories are at least burned off and it's a negative-calorie meal. This meal is mainly here if you're arround a a lot of people at lunch and to keep your stomcah from grumbling, so it's okay to have a later lunch or to combine lunch and dinner. By this I mean eat arround 4:00pm and have it count for both meals. With this, don't take it over 200 calories.
[unless you've combining this & lunch]
Dinner... Oouch. This meal, I think, is the least-important one. There's no point in stuffing your face if you've just going to go to sleep right afterwards and not burn any of it off. I would have the tiniest dinner possible...or just get a shitload of salad. And remember to eat at least four hours before you go to bed. ;D
And then a small lunch, so another, what? 100 calories? This should be made-up completley of fruits and vegetables along with a low-calorie drink(tea, water, black coffee, 0cal pop/energy drink) to make sure all the calories are at least burned off and it's a negative-calorie meal. This meal is mainly here if you're arround a a lot of people at lunch and to keep your stomcah from grumbling, so it's okay to have a later lunch or to combine lunch and dinner. By this I mean eat arround 4:00pm and have it count for both meals. With this, don't take it over 200 calories.
[unless you've combining this & lunch]
Dinner... Oouch. This meal, I think, is the least-important one. There's no point in stuffing your face if you've just going to go to sleep right afterwards and not burn any of it off. I would have the tiniest dinner possible...or just get a shitload of salad. And remember to eat at least four hours before you go to bed. ;D
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